


Leave it to the Experts

by misura



Category: King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Background Het, Gen, Period Typical Attitudes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-07 04:22:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12833199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: "You're putting a whore in charge of the Royal Treasury," Sir Bedivere said.





	Leave it to the Experts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Arsenic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arsenic/gifts).



"You're putting a whore in charge of the Royal Treasury," Sir Bedivere said. He'd come accompanied by Goosefat Bill, which Arthur had feared meant trouble. Nice to know he'd been wrong about that.

Back Lack looked at Wet Stick. Arthur slumped a bit in his throne. They weren't nearly as uncomfortable to sit in as he'd feared, thrones. Crowns were a bitch, though. Putting them on was all right, but then you walked around for a bit and next thing you knew, the damn thing had half slid off, making you look right silly.

"Well, yeah, Bed. It so happens, Lucy's quite good with money, which I figured just about qualified her."

Goosefat Bill considered. A considering man, that Bill. Good with a bow, too, not that Arthur expected there to be much call for that in the near future. Still, you never knew when a talent like that might come in handy.

Sir Bedivere looked like he was about to say something someone was going to regret later. Probably him.

"If it helps," Arthur added, "I also put one of the girls in charge of - what was it again?"

"Law enforcement," said Back Lack.

"Rebuilding program," said Wet Stick.

Arthur smiled. "See? The kingdom's in good hands, Sir Bedivere. Sir William."

Sir Bedivere scowled. "The barons - "

"The barons who never did shit for me and probably would've done even less if we'd asked them, yes."

"Never met a baron I liked," Back Lack said. "Bunch of good-for-nothing snobs, you ask me."

Arthur was fairly sure that Back Lack had never met a baron, period, which rendered his statement the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, warranting no comment or correction whatsoever.

"Be that as it may be, they nevertheless wield considerable power," Sir Bedivere said. "Influence. Some of them might view your giving away positions to commoners as an insult."

"Can't have that, can we?" Arthur said. "Tell you what, how about I pick someone to be my official handler of complaints? Back Lack, Wet Stick, what do you say?"

"Long as it isn't me," Wet Stick said. "That's a shite job, Art."

"Well-paid, then," said Arthur. "So how about it, Bed, you interested in getting a job? Goosefat?"

Sir Bedivere sighed. Arthur beamed at him. "Don't you worry your pretty head, Bed. You'll see, it's all going to be just fine. Any of the barons get uppity - well, we did have those Vikings owing us a favor, don't we? Hard to be insulted when you've got a bunch of Vikings knocking on your door."

Goosefat Bill smothered what might have been a laugh.

Sir Bedivere gave him a long look. "I really, really hope you know what you're doing."

"Don't I always?" Arthur spread his hands. "Now, how about we turn that frown upside down, eh? How's Maggie? Two of you tied the knot yet? There's a word, you know, for people who fool around without ever getting down to serious business, and it's not a nice one."

"What of you and The Mage?" Goosefat Bill asked, as if he was somewhat less than a loyal subject.

"We've decided on a long-distance relationship," Arthur said. "The greater the distance between the two of us, the longer she's going to let me believe there's something going on. Can't make it fairer than that, can you?"

"You're going to let this country be run by women," said Sir Bedivere.

"Bed, I'm shocked. That almost sounded like an objection. Are you objecting to the way I run things around here? Should I be telling Maggie that you're a bit - just a bit, mind, on the old-fashioned, a woman's-place-is-in-the-kitchen side?"

Goosefat Bill shot him a look. An arrow might have actually wounded. "Arthur."

"That's right," Arthur said. "We're all friends here, aren't we? Now, I understand that this all a bit new and scary, yeah? So why don't you go and think about all of this for a while and then, when you're feeling better, we'll do a review. See how things have been going so far."

"Truly, you are your father's son," Bedivere said. "Sire."

"Ain't biology grand," Arthur said, rising, the better to sling an arm around Sir Bedivere's shoulder. "Now, really, you and Maggie? Nothing? Sounds like you might need a bit of friendly advice."

"Nice girl, Maggie," said Back Lack.

"Good girl," said Wet Stick.

Arthur snapped his fingers. "Know what, we should find her a job. What've we got?"


End file.
